Shabbat Shalom in the Emergency Room

FOREWORD:
I am thankful for the help I received, seen and unseen and for being able to return home that evening with my husband.

I hope you find this story enjoyable and may the humor I found leaven the serious feelings and moments as well.
shalom, Anita

Noticing a pain in my leg

It all started when I noticed a sharp pain in my calf..especially when I went down the stairs..

hm...perplexed....

I notice my leg is more swollen...

Calling about my leg pain

I call to try to make an appointment...

then it is time to light the shabbat candles...

My mother says the shabbos blessing

My mother says the Shabbat blessing herself for the first time.

Shalom Aleichem for my family

We welcome in the Shabbat angels.

Shabbat Shalom with my family

Shabbat Shalom with my family..mom, dad and my brother Wallace.

Musings on the way home

Then I leave to go home and gather up my things to go to Urgent Care or E.R. I think ahead to what I'll need to take..

I've taken my husband more times than I count to E.R. plus my Dad this past January..

I always draw my way through these challenging moments....This time is no different, but Shabbat has started and one is supposed to rest...not work..I'm sure the ancient rabbi's would not approve of me drawing on Shabbat.

Arguing with the old rabbi's about desecrating the sabbath

top drawing
I can imagine my argument with them...I know I am not supposed to draw, but it is how I manage my difficult moments when I am in CRISIS!!

middle drawing
Drawing helps me stay focused and grounded.....otherwise, I feel like I'll get too anxious, or go bananas!! It also opens my eyes of compassion and empathy...Drawing saves me and is my guiding light!!

bottom drawing
The inner dialogue about this remains unresolved ...and I continue to draw.

we eat supper and I light the shabbat candles for a short while...

Shabbat Shalom

Before I head out to the E.R. to check out my leg

I pray and ask for healing, care and supplication.

Self portrait in E.R. waiting room...???????????

all kinds of questions gather around me....

Can I remain strong no matter what happens??

What will happen?

will I go home? tonight??

Who will pay for this?

Can I conquer my worries?

Will it be painful?

How much will it cost??

E.R. Waiting Room

And so I sit there with the sadness and the pain of the human condition all around me..here at E.R. at 8:50 pm

The Hospital Gown

Finally I get taken back to one of the rooms. The nurse hands me a hospital gown. My first time to wear one in the E.R. I'm always on the other side...waiting..my husband or some one else wears one...sigh...now it's my turn...

My Leg

So what happened?

I wait....

I wait, Laying there in my hospital gown...memories of other times in E.R. surround me....

Various Emotions Gather Round

as I lay there...which emotion will I attach to??

Rachmones ( Compassion)

As I lay there I think about all the people I have shared this anonymous room with....their suffering and their angst...

Dr. Paul's reassurance

Shabbat glow....


Dr. Paul is somehow reassuring...


could be muscle pain....

( Hideous hospital gown)

prayer in E.R.

Prayer in E.R.

Please, dear G-d, may I be allowed to be seen soon and to be able to go home
tonight to sleep next to my beloved husband.

Please dear G-d, hear my prayer.

Amen.

some kind of divine support...

You will be fine!! Trust!!

wheeled to ultra sound

so, as I am being wheeled to the ultra sound I notice the art in the halls and EXPOUND on it.

"Say, let's stop for a moment and look, really LOOK at ART. Ah...art!! what is the erudite meaning here?? Doesn't the inner composition of it move you? The colors, the form and the content!! the Meaning!!

Why...this piece, this piece of art simply vibrates with scintillating depth... it has real intellectual viscosity!! A sense of irreverence for form coupled with a whimsical feeling for color,

Now..let's stop and discuss the more subtle aspects....

the Ultrasound and the Diagnosis

Finally I get to the Ultrasound!!

NO BLOOD CLOT!!

The diagnosis is that I have an inflamed Baker's Cyst!!

Ha ha ha! I was a baker once..
]
I guess I will have to go to my local bakery for the appropriate dosage
to help cure this!!
This bakery is a place I worship at often!!

Leaving the hospital

I leave the human pathos of the emergency room behind.

Stars smile down on us....

I am so happy
and relieved
to leave

E.R.

and just walk

out of there

and....

back home

...even to resume ordinary marital bickering in the car on the way home...

YEs!! I am so Happy and grateful to be home at last!!

The next day

nice sturdy red shoe

ready to go for a walk

my OWL book on the chair.

SO?? (noticing how the feet also look like scales or a fish or a mermaid)

What is the true meaning of all this?

What is the best way to move ahead?

What is the best way to move ahead?

I wait for insight and wonder. My hands hold onto my questions.

Pondering

So, I ponder all this and last night's events as I wrap up this story.

SO, I wonder and ponder, what does all of this MEAN?

Questions to rest upon.........

What is my next step with wisdom?

What is my next step with wisdom??

Questions????

How will I proceed/

1) In a logical orderly, sequential fashion to a desired goal?

OR

2) Will I drift like a mermaid following dreamy intuition that bubble up from below?

OR

3) a combination of the two???

Questions??????

1) Hey!! I can do it!! I have an operative working left brain!! I can do the ligcal sequential steps I need to do in order to move ahead.

Mermaid musings

I'll just follow my insights and wait for intuitive direction

DO THIS!!

DO THAT!!

more insight......

A decision!!

I think I'll do #3!!

Walk by the Creek

Now it's time to go for a walk by the creek, in the warmth of the day, to listen to birdsong and bid winter farewell at last, and farewell for now, dear reader.

The End of this Adventure and the Beginning of Another.

The end of this adventure and the beginning of another.

Here my story ends for now, until I draw the next adventure in the moment.